Aaarh Matey!!!

Gentlemen, pick up your weapons . . .

Matthew (in red): "You seem a decent fellow, I hate to beat you"

Austin (in blue): "You seem a decent fellow, I hate to lose"

"Begin!"

M: "You're using Bonetti's defense against me, ah?"

A: "I thought it fitting, considering the grassy terrain"

M: "Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Cape Ferro"

A: "Naturally"

A: "But I find Thibault cancels out Cape Fero, don't you?"

M: "Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa . . . which I have!"

M: "You are wonderful!"

A: "Thank you - I've worked hard to become so"

M: "I admit it - you are better than I am"

A: "Then why are you smiling?"

M: "Because I know something you don't know"

A: "And what is that?"

M: "I am not left-handed!"

M: "Ha ha!!!"

A: "You're amazing!"

M: "I ought to be after 3 years"

A: "But there's something I ought to tell you"

M: "Tell me"

A: "I am not left-handed either!"

A: "Ha ha!"

M: "Finish me quickly"

A: "I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist such as yourself!"

As you can see, Audrey got tired of endlessly admonishing her two warrior sons to stop swordfighting with sticks - so she went out and bought them some foam swords. (In the interest of full disclosure, I must confess that I, Joseph, am probably enjoying them more than my sons are).

The wisdom of Audrey's decision in acquiring such armament has been repeatedly affirmed by the fact that all swordfights now end with smiles - instead of the tears, bruises, and blood that we are used to. (This is especially reassuring given that the nearest hospital is 2 1/2 hours away).

All for one - One for all!

P.S. How can you tell that you have a swash-buckling pirate-warrior for a son? When he (in this case, Austin) proudly marches into the house and matter-of-factly announces to his mother -"Daddy would come in, but I finished him off!"